I have been meaning for some time now to bring to light one of the main cultural differences between the US and France: something known as “bisous,” or kisses. No, it is neither a myth nor only reserved for French films that for almost every single person in France this act is second nature. The French make “bisous” look so easy and so chic. However for some reason I have constant stress when it comes to this habitual greeting. Do I go left then right, or right then left? I’ve tried both, and it seems to be the wrong way. After much careful observation, I have deduced that, most unfortunately, this isn’t like conjugating verbs where study and practice make perfect, and there is no rhyme or reason to the left-right or right-left conundrum. It’s a crapshoot, and I ALWAYS seem to go the wrong way, which results in this awkward situation where both parties' puckered lips are rapidly approaching each other. I’m sure they can see the fear in my eyes as I waver between left and right looking like a confused and terrified bobble head.
How often do you bisous? When you haven’t seen someone for a few hours, or a few days? Do you simply go with the cheek bump, or do you actually make contact lips to cheek? How loud do you make the kissy noise? Women always seem to “faire les bisous”, men and women typically do as well (which is slightly off putting at times), while men and men only when they are family or are very close.
Believe it or not, sticking out you hand for a handshake, though simpler, would be much more awkward, “way too professional” they say, so I’ll keep trying with be bisous.
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